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opus_clementi
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Birthday: 7/8/1991
Gender: Male
Interests: Hmm..Me..What are my interests?...Um..well..My interests include interesting stuff (duh)...Reading and writing allow me to express my self..Literally...(duh)
Um basically I like things like the supernatural, the unknown, uh...I also like food? And breathing too..I breathe a lot.. ; )
Expertise: Full-time friend ( call me at pass 12am I still won't get angry..I'll just barrage you with text messages) Professional pants down comedian..
Uh...Oh yeah..I'm also a student...You know...Those people in schools...Uh..They like uh..Learn stuff?
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
MSN: fishnuggets@msn.com
ICQ:  232-957-347
Yahoo:  d_undgrd@yahoo.com
Member Since:
3/27/2006
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| Hmmm I can say anything here. It's nice. Like talking to myself. let me start...
I can't find the courage to talk to her. I have mixed feelings about the whole situation. She's nice, one of the best people I have ever come to meet. Smsing and chatting her is easy. But to actually meet her...I feel nervous..Does it mean I have feelings for her? I said I would accompany her tomorrow. I won't forget. She thinks I won't go along with the plan but I don't want to fail her..Again..
She doubts her feelings for me. Same here. My mind..is useless right now..Just have to see how things go tomorrow I guess..Does she really like me? Or is it just sisterly love? She did want a petbro..And then I came along..She's not sure...I better assure her..Must overcome myself..Be confident..She SMSED! YAY...I'll go through it! For her! | | |
| Life sucks don't you know? | | |
| He was uncertain. Eyes darting around the corridors. As the rain grew softer, silent whisperings in his mind said 'This is it.' Gently probing what lie ahead, he was yet again undecisive. To carry out what he wanted to do for such a long time. To set himself at rest, content, mixed feelings of compassion.
She gracefully stepped out and into the open air. His senses sharpened. 'No more thinking.' He nervously stepped around following the same route with caution. Glancing at his make believe watch, he assured himself he still had time. The front entrance lie ahead, just a few more meters. Just then her friend popped up and conversed with her. Even without reading her lips, he knew what she was talking about. A ride home...
All his hopes dashed down in less than a few seconds. Induced with sadness he was ready to admit defeat. Or so he thought. She turned down the offer while her friend still yelled about the offer. Her mind was made up. She was walking home alone this time. 'Huh? Why? You want to be alone?' said his mind, yet he was rejuvenated and more determined than ever. Letting her go a few paces in front of him, he waved towards his other companions while he was still ready to make his move all simultaneously. She really brought out the best in him.
Ready to dash for his chance, his buddy called out to him from afar. hesitantly he trotted back and confronted his friend.'Hey walking home? Can I walk with you?' said the buddy while on his bike. His mind was shouting NO! NO! NO! and he replied simply that he was walking in another direction and turned down the offer even though his conscience said otherwise.
Retreating back to his former route, hoping not to have lost sight of her, he was relieved when he saw her making her way home. So he gathered up all his courage to go ahead and talk to her. Yet again his plans were foiled by another acquaintance who made conversation with him. Defensive he made small talk and told him he was going accompany a friend home. His conscience didn't fail to remind him of his doing but he had silenced all of it for later.
So with a deep breath he called out her name. Her head turned and yet again he was stunned by her beauty. He stuttered a bit but managed to inform her that he was going the same path as her to visit a friend. Her tone of voice didn't suggest that she really believed him. And with good reason for it was all a phoney lie. As they walked a long the roads listening to the gentle splatter of puddles as the cars went by, he digged his mind for a topic to converse about. 'It's always hard to talk when you want to isn't it?' commented his mind yet again.
Finally he managed to talk about the recent happenings and events all the while savouring the moment. But after some observation his enthusiasm was relinquished for her facial gestures suggested that she was uncomfortable with the whole situation. Her head constantly to the ground signaled to him that this was quite a mistake.
As her house was in sight, he admitted to himself that failure had taken over and wanted to cease causing her to feel that way. He squeaked out a quick goodbye and made way towards his so-called friend's house on the other road. Making sure she had safely entered her house he started to jog away.
His mind was blank. He was wounded. Nothing could make him feel better at that moment. He thought of hitting himself in which he eventually did. He came home feeling different. He was... Emotionless. All he thought of was not to think about her, and yet he checked his phone for messages, desperate for some socializing. Three sms ads. His heart sank deeper.
And so he lie there, making up his mind. Never to do nor think about what had happened today. To forget. For memories so painful that it destroys any form of happiness. He closed his eyes. Nothing happened. His mind had turned into an endless void. He obstructed himself from feeling anything, for his world was empty, lifeless, lonely. | | |
| Came back from co-curriculum..Body is not really responding right now. Made a fool out of myself during the UBK meeting..More homework to be done yet here I am lazing about. Not a care in the world. It all doesn't matter anymore. It's all..Transient.
***
Lie in me, my other half. Self-destructive, wound inducing, pain is the middle name. With no happiness, no compassion, he waits...For that moment in which he gets his freedom..Where everything goes wrong. His undeniable force that strives to hurt everything he sees. Hope is lost...Hope is lost. | | |
| So I've gotten much better at 'Batu Seremban' (Confidence increases)
Will See how it goes..Ho hum..School seems to be so monotonous these days, ntgh much really..Just homework and study...Gerak gempur..Guess that means study right? Yep..Study bunny..
Anyway, there's this girl i met quite a while ago. I don't mean to sound as if i'm so great or anything but...I think...She likes me...
Sounds stupid huh? Well..There has been a lot of 'signs'...
Really don't know.. I like her too but..but..You know..The but issue...
I don't think she'll admit it anytime soon because of certain conditions and consequences that would arise following the action..Simply put..it's a complicated thingamajigabob...It's like trying to fly in the air, turn it upside down, and eat potatoes with you hands tied behind your back and a cork wedged into your nostrils..Doesn't make sense right? It's like the situation is such that you know you can't do anything and should not expect anything but yet, the feeling is there.
Compressed and locked inside you..Seeking to get out..To be free...To be with that special someone? But yet it is oppressed with utmost prejudice and given a life sentence.. | | |
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