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opus_clementi
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read my profile
sign my guestbook
Birthday: 7/8/1991
Gender: Male
Interests: Hmm..Me..What are my interests?...Um..well..My interests include interesting stuff (duh)...Reading and writing allow me to express my self..Literally...(duh)
Um basically I like things like the supernatural, the unknown, uh...I also like food? And breathing too..I breathe a lot.. ; )
Expertise: Full-time friend ( call me at pass 12am I still won't get angry..I'll just barrage you with text messages) Professional pants down comedian..
Uh...Oh yeah..I'm also a student...You know...Those people in schools...Uh..They like uh..Learn stuff?
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
MSN: fishnuggets@msn.com
ICQ:  232-957-347
Yahoo:  d_undgrd@yahoo.com
Member Since:
3/27/2006
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| First of all. I want to say, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for what I have done you. I'm sorry that I hurt you deeply. I'm sorry for all the tears you let out because of me. I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry.
What you have said is true. All of it. 100% accurate. Every sentence, every word. It's all true. I am the definition of cruel. Heartless. A big old jerk. How could I have done this to you? In what sense could I justify my actions? Why did I hurt you?
Worst of all, I knew my actions had hurt you. And I still didn't do anything to amend them. I didn't apologize. I just went on being my horrible self. Day by day, you still stood by me. Day by day you wept because of me. Day by day I hurt your feelings. Yet you still wanted to be with me. How thoughtless. How immensely inconsiderate I am to you. You truly cared about me. You truly cherished me. You truly loved me. But I treated you like dirt. Where can you find such love and loyalty? Where can you find a person as beautiful as you. Everybody has their own faults and shortcomings . But that gives me no right to mistreat you. I took you for granted.
You called me when I was sick. You made me that honey drink. I still remember its sweetness. I still remember the card you gave me. The key chain. The sweets. I should have spent more time with you. I should have smsed you more. I should have at least called. Instead I broke you down. I deprived you of any emotional sustanence. I'm so sorry. I really should have walked back with you. Instead I made you cry.
I still wonder how you could have continued on to like me.
I still wonder how you feel right now.
I still wonder if you still have feelings for me.
You think of me often. I hardly give notice about. Can you see the difference? Its like Beauty and the Beast. But this time the beast is real. Horrid. Not some handsome prince who conceals his goodness and such. I don't what to do. I miss you. The things you have done for me I truly treasure. I have never met a person that nice to me. Willing to do anything humanly possible. Someone who loves me for who I am. I don't what to do now. If only I could have changed the past. If only. If only. | | |
| I'm feeling tremendously crappy right now so instead of moaning and groaning about it I'm gonna try to remember all my happy memories which are indeed minute in numbers...
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The time you held my hand,
The time you saved a seat for me,
The day we spent together,
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The time you smsed me,
The first time I called you,
The time I talked with you,
The time I waited with you,
The time you said you would miss me,
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The day I spent with you,
The first time I heard you on the phone,
The sms you sent to me,
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this is not working at all... | | |
| re·al·i·za·tion (rÄ“'É™-lÄ-zÄ'shÉ™n) pronunciation
n.
1. The act of realizing or the condition of being realized.
2. The result of realizing.
Thesaurus
realization
noun
1. The condition of being fulfilled: consummation, culmination, fruition, fulfillment, materialization. See do/not do, happy/unhappy.
2. The condition of being in full force or operation: actualization, being, effect, materialization. See be.
3. One's artistic conception as shown by the way in which something such as a dramatic role or musical composition is rendered: execution, interpretation, performance, reading, rendering, rendition.
Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real. — Iris Murdoch (1919-1999)
The noun realization has 6 meanings:
Meaning #1: coming to understand something clearly and distinctly
Synonyms: realisation, recognition
Meaning #2: making real or giving the appearance of reality
Synonyms: realisation, actualization, actualisation
Meaning #3: a musical composition that has been completed or enriched by someone other than the composer
Meaning #4: a sale in order to obtain money (as a sale of stock or a sale of the estate of a bankrupt person) or the money so obtained
Synonym: realisation
Meaning #5: the completion or enrichment of a piece of music left sparsely notated by a composer
Meaning #6: something that is made real or concrete
Synonyms: realisation, fruition
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I realize... | | |
| Do people usually hate themselves? Is this a normal phenomenon? Do people have to find some way, link or cause to associate themselves with the root of the problem? Is it self-destructive human nature? I had my very own encounters with people who have the exact opposite attitude.
Anyway, self-hate and self-destructive being my nature, I have to think, to say, to pronounce that its either my actions, my words, my non-rational decisions that hurt people, cause people to hate me, despise, the feeling of utmost unease. It's me, I just know it.
I wish things were back the way they were. Simple in its very own unique way. Laced with happy moments and momentos. Things are best left simple because once things get complicated, everything can go wrong. It starts off with friendship, eventually if the settings are just right, feelings get born. I guess its unintentional right? It just happens...
But keeping it inside is such torture. The pressure builds up. Eventually a release must be in order. Its like climbing up to the top of the swimming pool. The temptation to just let go and dive into the beautiful blue waters that lie below. The refreshing sensation is thought to be lovely. But it has consequences. Such and experience does not come without its own hefty price. Once you jump, you are pass the point of no return. Only thing to do is brace for impact.
You could seriously injure yourself or you can just gracefully splash into the water without harm. Well, being on the unfortunate side, I got hurt...Seriously hurt.
Well being nice to a person is one thing, but TOO nice is another. You might not even notice it but being exceptionally kind to a specific person can have severe side effects. Namely the person will start to feel uncomfortable!!! Hear me? Yes uncomfortable so don't do it okay? You're riding yourself head on into a brick wall. Now things being the way they are, I can hardly find any hope. The situation is beyond repair. No sunlight means everything will deteriorate, wither away and cease to exist. Please help me out of this misery. | | |
| She said yes. She accepted me, as her..You know...So I'm happy, she's happy.. But..There's always the but...she doesn't seem so..Um how to say..Affectionate? Or maybe it just takes time... She did try to find me in school all day... Staying back to accompany her tomorrow ^^ | | |
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